My New Beginning

Lea Michele – Cannonball

I’ve been feeling pretty inspired lately to finally get my life together. I’m finished my classes in three weeks and I start my placement right after that. Things are going pretty good right now and it’s really refreshing. The part of my life I’ve been waiting for is finally here and I’m really excited. I’ve had some rough moments this year, but I’m finally ready to live my life the way I should be. This song has been really uplifting for me and I wanted to share it with all of you.

Break down
Break down

(Break down)
I was scared to death I was losing my mind
(Break down)
I couldn’t close my eyes I was pacing all night, oh, no,
I think I found the light at the end of the tunnel (and my doubts)
I couldn’t find the truth I was going under

But I won’t hide inside
I gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out
Lonely inside and light the fuse
Light it now, light it now, light it now

And now I will start living today, today, today
I close the door
I got this new beginning and I will fly
I’ll fly like a cannonball, like a cannonball, like a cannonball
I’ll fly, I’ll fly, I’ll fly like a cannonball

(Freedom)
I let go of fear and the peace came quickly
(Freedom)
I was in the dark and then it hit me
I chose suffering and pain in the falling rain
I know, I gotta get out into the world again

But I won’t hide inside
I gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out
Lonely inside and light the fuse
Light it now, light it now, light it now

And now I will start living today, today, today
I close the door
I got this new beginning and I will fly
I’ll fly like a cannonball, like a cannonball, like a cannonball
I’ll fly, I’ll fly, I’ll fly like a cannonball

(Break down)
I was scared to death I was losing my mind
(Break down)
I gotta get out into the world again

And now I will start living today, today, today
I close the door
I got this new beginning and I will fly
I’ll fly like a cannonball, like a cannonball, like a cannonball
I’ll fly, I’ll fly, I’ll fly like a cannonball, like a cannonball, like a cannonball
I’ll fly, I’ll fly, I’ll fly like a cannonball

I will start living today. Wish me luck!

I Wanna See You Be Brave

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

– We Bought a Zoo

I’ve always thought about this quote every time I needed to do something that terrifies me. It’s funny, but it really works. Or even just counting to three and making a snap decision. I mean I’m the anxiety queen so honestly it’s nice to kind of have something at the back of your mind when you want to just be brave.

Public speaking, asking that person out, standing up to someone who really deserves a kick in the pants…yeah it can be scary, but the end result is usually so worth it. Even if in the end things didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you can always look back and know that you at least tried. You’ll never have to wonder ‘what if?’ You were brave, and sometimes that’s the real prize.

Why You Gotta Bring Me Down?

Sometimes people can suck.

These last couple of weeks have been rough in terms of dealing with people. Everyone just seems to be in a sour mood or just flat out rude lately. Perhaps I’m over-reacting. Perhaps I’m one of these people (truthfully I don’t think so though). I feel like there’s something in the water right now.

Just today, a girl in my class gave me a ton of attitude because I accidentally knocked her glasses off the desk. I apologized, picked them up, and all I get is a look from her basically showing me how stupid she clearly thinks I am. Honestly hon, they’re glasses, and they’re fine, maybe take a chill pill.

Not to mention my best friend in Ottawa has had one thing after another said to her at work, through friends, and at home and she came to a boiling point the other night. This girl is a rock so when she calls me long-distance crying it clearly isn’t an over-reaction. My heart went out to her. I totally get how she’s feeling right now, what with her friends being rude and unsupportive. Honestly I’ve been feeling like I just can’t say the right thing anymore when it comes to some of my friends.

Honestly, I say one thing intended to be funny or sarcastic or even just in passing and I get a death glare or a snarky remark back. Why is everyone so on edge? Can’t we all just take a breath for a second? Jesus I’m human, I don’t need to be constantly reprimanded for things I say, especially when they’re so minor.

I’m aware these are all super small things. But these small things can build up and become this giant looming thing that brings you down. It’s lame and I’m complaining so sorry for the rant followers! Sometimes you just feel like you’re alone and gotta get your feelings out. Hopefully the promise of spring will lift people’s spirits and we can all just get along again!

There’s Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Or so I’ve been told.

So recently, as more of a social experiment and pure curiosity, I joined PlentyOfFish. Yeah, yeah I know what you’re thinking, “oh lord, online dating, must be desperate.” I won’t lie, I haven’t exactly been lucky in love, but I’m not desperate. I think my genuine curiosity just finally took a hold of me, especially after multiple friends said they had accounts.

Keep in mind, I’ve only had the account for a few days, but I’ve learned quite a bit in this time. I can totally respect online dating, I know there is definite success behind it, but certain people have me completely puzzled. For example…

People are judgemental of the judgemental people. You can see in a few summaries guys saying that they want to give the online thing a shot, but the girls just seem to judge super quickly and move on. …I’m confused. Isn’t that the point? To have hundreds of potential dates only a mouse click away? We can’t seriously be expected to give EVERY SINGLE PERSON who messages us a date. No offense fellas…I don’t have the time. (Not to imply that I get BILLIONS of messages, but it’s enough that it would be ridiculous). I mean what if that person is too old for you? What if they just want to be friends and you’re looking for a relationship? What if, what if, what if…

Also, it tends to pair you with people who are just like you. Listen POF…I don’t want to date a carbon copy of myself. If I did then I would be perfectly happy being single. The amount of non-smoker, caucasian, blue-eyed, brunette Gemini’s I’ve been told are my “perfect match” is ridiculous.

What I particularly enjoy are the two types of people on this site. You either have the person who reveals everything about themselves in their profile, therefore leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination and basically nothing to talk about. I mean who wants to talk to someone that they now know everything about? Then there’s the people who don’t describe themselves AT ALL and say “just ask!” Oh good…where should I start? There’s a fine line that you have to follow, tell me something but don’t give away everything about yourself. Where’s the mystery in that?

Also, can someone explain to me why people sign up just to “meet friends.” I mean…really? Surely making friends is easier than finding someone you are compatible with to date. Or maybe they’re all just super friendly and far more adventurous than I am! (Likely the case). Still though…it’s a DATING site…for DATING. I don’t get it.

What really kills me though are the headlines. I have seen sooooo many headlines that say “I’m willing to lie about how we met.” This is the ultimate kicker for me. I just don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of! I get it’s not the ideal way to meet someone and it’s certainly not the fairy tale story we all hope for but…lying about it? That just seems sad. If you’re that ashamed you don’t belong on a dating site. I don’t know, just my opinion.

UPDATE: I’ve just been told I take too long to respond to messages by a “prospect.” Apparently I’m failing HARD at this online thing.

Look, I don’t claim to be an expert on love, dating, or online dating. These are just things that have left me stumped. But as they say, what might be odd to you is completely endearing to someone else. Look, as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Whether you find someone at a bar, at the gym, online, or any other way, just be happy. Good luck fishers! I hope you all find what you’re looking for!

Quick Update

madisonelliottblog.wordpress.com has been changed to…

themadisonproject.wordpress.com

As you were.

Something More

Song I’m currently addicted to…Something More by Sugarland.

“There’s gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I’m gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I’m looking for
There’s gotta be something more”

Late Night Struggle

I’m wide awake.

I’m just lying here, trying to will myself to sleep. Tonight is not a good night. My mind is wandering to places I wish it wouldn’t go. It’s thinking about the loneliness I feel, especially lately. It’s thinking about how my friends don’t seem to want to be around me anymore. It’s thinking about how crazy and stupid I feel. It’s thinking too much.

Tomorrow will be a struggle just to get out of bed and face the world. My body is so emotionally drained that I question how I’m supposed to go on like normal. Why am I so unhappy right now? I have no reason to be…and yet I am.

I don’t want to feel this way. I just want to lay here and will myself to sleep. Tonight is not a good night.

I’m wide awake.

I Heart New York

And I heart YOU Lindsey Kelk!

As some of you might have gathered by now, I adore Lindsey Kelk’s novels. She writes the women I aspire to be. I mean seriously, hot, young woman living in New York, working as a blogger with an incredibly attractive boyfriend (who’s in a BAND!), yeah sign me up!

But it’s so much more than the lifestyle her characters have, it’s their attitudes. They all manage to grab life by the reigns and take control of their destinies. Yes they’ve been screwed over, yes they don’t have it all figured out, but they’re working on it. Especially Angela Clark. Can we just take a minute to appreciate the fact that this woman is basically me!? I mean, cheating boyfriend of ten years aside, I related to this woman in nearly every way. Mostly in her awkwardness. “I may as well have told him I’d carried a watermelon,” I understand Angela…I understand.

Every emotion that Angela had about a situation, I knew I would react the exact same way. Her journey became my journey (and I SO wish it actually was my journey) and I fell in love with the story. Kelk has this brilliant way of giving her characters life. You really believe that this could actually happen, and you really hope it does. Kelk writes what she knows. She knows New York, she knows fashion, she knows love and heartbreak. That’s what makes her stories so great, she’s not faking anything. It all comes from a place of experience.

Really, I could gush about this woman and her writing all day, but I must share my fangirl moment! Lindsey Kelk, my favourite author, tweeted me yesterday! Yes, it’s small andmaybe a little stupid, but I died inside and squealed with delight! She totally made my day! This is my celeb status moment, no one can take this away from me!

But yes, 10/10 for this book. Great start to the series. It’s funny, well-written and just overall a good time. A must read for all you Sex and the City fans out there! Now if you’d all excuse me…I have to start the second book.

The Rosie Project

Guys! I finally finished another book!

I probably use it as an excuse way too much, but school definitely gets in the way of my reading time. Needless to say, it’s been a slow start to the year in terms of my book count. Fortunately, I managed to squeeze in enough time to read a book that EVERYONE needs to read.

The Rosie Project is the first novel by Graeme Simsion and it is to die for! It’s the story of Don Tillman, a man who is a brilliant scientific mind but terribly misguided with social skills. He develops ‘The Wife Project’ in order to find his perfect match, but ends up getting something he never expected, true love with his complete opposite.

This book is very Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) finds love. It’s genius. Seeing everything through Don’s eyes makes the story that much more endearing. I was laughing out loud when he was trying to pick up on social queues, and for a second you feel badly for laughing until you realize that he probably wouldn’t care. That’s the beauty of The Rosie Project, you understand these characters inside and out, there’s never a question about who they are.

I struggled a little bit with the ending however. Throughout the novel, Rosie is searching for her biological father and the couple end up going on quite the adventure to find him. In the end, you expect to know the father’s identity 100%, but it was only implied. Maybe I’m just picky and need to see in print the exact answer, but it surprised me that Simsion didn’t do just that. We spend this entire book rooting for Rosie to find her father, we go on the journey with her. Don’t we deserve a definitive answer too?

Everything else was pure gold. The characters were interesting and they always had something valid or thought-provoking to say (maybe with the exception of Gene who I just wanted to smack throughout the whole book). Honestly, even as I write this, I’m having trouble finding the words to express the perfection that is this book.

This was a brilliant introduction for Simsion and I hope we see more from him soon. This is not your average love story and I encourage everyone to give it a chance. Like Don, you might be very surprised with how you feel at the end of the journey.

Oscar Predictions

Here are my predictions for the 2014 Academy Award winners. They are listed in bold. Keep in mind I haven’t included every category simply because I couldn’t make a fair prediction, but these are the ones I could. Happy Academy Awards!

Best Picture	American Hustle Captain Phillips Dallas Buyers Club Gravity Her Nebraska Philomena 12 Years a Slave The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Actor in a Leading Role	Christian Bale (American Hustle) Bruce Dern (Nebraska) Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street) Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave) Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Best Actress in a Leading Role	Amy Adams (American Hustle) Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine) Sandra Bullock (Gravity) Judi Dench (Philomena) Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)
Best Actor in a Supporting Role	Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips) Bradley Cooper (American Hustle) Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave) Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street) Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Best Actress in a Supporting Role	Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine) Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle) Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave) Julia Roberts (August: Osage County) June Squibb (Nebraska)
Best Animated Feature	The Croods (Chris Sanders, Kirk DeMicco, Kristine Belson) Despicable Me 2 (Chris Renaud, Pierre Coffin, Chris Meledandri) Ernest & Celestine (Benjamin Renner, Didier Brunner) Frozen (Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee, Peter Del Vecho) The Wind Rises (Hayao Miyazaki, Toshio Suzuki)
Best Cinematography	The Grandmaster (Philippe Le Sourd) Gravity (Emmanuel Lubezki) Inside Llewyn Davis (Bruno Delbonnel) Nebraska (Phedon Papamichael) Prisoners (Roger A. Deakins)
Best Costume Design	American Hustle (Michael Wilkinson) The Grandmaster (William Chang Suk Ping) The Great Gatsby (Catherine Martin) The Invisible Woman (Michael O’Connor) 12 Years a Slave (Patricia Norris)
Best Directing	American Hustle (David O. Russell) Gravity (Alfonso Cuarón) Nebraska (Alexander Payne) 12 Years a Slave (Steve McQueen) The Wolf of Wall Street (Martin Scorsese)
Best Film Editing	American Hustle (Jay Cassidy, Crispin Struthers, Alan Baumgarten) Captain Phillips (Christopher Rouse) Dallas Buyers Club (John Mac McMurphy, Martin Pensa) Gravity (Alfonso Cuarón, Mark Sanger) 12 Years a Slave (Joe Walker)
Best Original Song	Happy (Despicable Me 2) Let It Go (Frozen) The Moon Song (Her) Ordinary Love (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)