The Songs that Saved Me

I’ve never been musically talented…but it never hindered my love for it.

Music is my best friend. I can remember growing up listening to the sounds of the Beatles and Pink Floyd instead of lullabies. It’s been etched into my brain for as long as I can remember to adore music and all of its messages.

I’ve developed my own tastes over the years, and I’m sure my dad is deeply disappointed at my obsession for certain Top 40 tracks. But in all the noise, a select few songs have really been there for me like an old friend. When I was at deepest low a few years ago, I turned to music for comfort. In fact, I always have. So I’ve compiled a list of some of the songs that in many ways, saved my life. Some songs are newer, some are old, but all hold dear to my heart.

In no particular order…

The Beatles – Let it Be

“And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be.”

Don Henley – The Heart of the Matter

“I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it’s about forgiveness.”

Matchbox 20 – Unwell

“But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be.”

Family of the Year – Hero

“So let me go
I don’t wanna be your hero
I don’t wanna be a big man
I Just wanna fight like everyone else.”

Joshua Radin – Everything’ll Be Alright

“But I look at you, warm in your dream
While your mobile dances above
And I think to myself
It’s a beautiful night
And I know everything
Is gonna be alright
Yes now I know
It’ll be alright.”

Lea Michele – Cannonball

“And now I will start living today, today, today
I close the door
I got this new beginning and I will fly
I’ll fly like a cannonball, like a cannonball, like a cannonball
I’ll fly, I’ll fly, I’ll fly like a cannonball.”

Miranda Lambert – The House that Built Me

“I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I’m someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I’ll leave.
Won’t take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.”

The Beatles – Here Comes the Sun

“Little darling
The smiles returning to the faces
Little darling
It seems like years since it’s been here

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun,
and I say, It’s all right.”

Each song is so personal for so many reasons, those of which I’ll save just for me. But I hope you can find some solace in one of these songs.

My Soulmates

There’s nothing like good girlfriends.

I enjoy hanging out with guys too, but there are just certain things you need your girlfriends for…like to talk about those guys.

Or to call at 3 a.m. when you can’t turn your mind off about the latest stressful thing, and they will pause whatever they’re doing (including their sleep) to answer the phone. They’re also great drinking buddies. I mean who else can I take tequila shots with one night, and have a classy glass of wine the next? Guys don’t really do that, at least the ones I know.

Your girlfriends definitely won’t judge you if you’re rocking a onesie and last nights make-up, because they’re probably doing the same. They also seem to always know exactly what your thinking and know exactly what to say for every situation.

Honestly one of my favourite parts about being a girl is how quickly the conversation can change. One minute we’re talking about hair, nails and “oh my god, that guy is definitely into you!” The next we’re discussing world events, feminism and our very serious futures.

Women are badass! This is why we need girlfriends, to share in all of our kick-ass traits! And because yes, I would like to watch that chick flick starring Channing Tatum and I would like to discuss how Leonardo DiCaprio is actually in love me and he just doesn’t know it yet. Let’s be real, no man is going to sit through that conversation with me.

Girlfriends make you laugh the hardest but still know how to share a sentimental moment.

They’ve held you at your worst and cheered the loudest at your best.

One day, I’ll meet a man and he’ll be the love of my life. But my girls…we’re soulmates.

For Marilyn

I should have written this months ago, but it was just too painful then. So, today I honour my grandmother.

It’s funny, I look back on my life and all the people I’ve met, and I know I’ve made some enemies. I consider myself a good person, but not everyone in life is going to see you that way.

And then there’s my Gramma.

Marilyn Jean Richardson was the most perfect human being I’ve ever met. In the days leading up to her passing, we discovered something amazing; we couldn’t recall one person who has said a bad word about her. Everyone adored her; she was your stereotypical sweet old lady with the biggest heart. Although I’m willing to bet that anyone you can imagine is still not as wonderful as my Gramma.

I love her so much.

And I know she loved her family just as much. Her children and grandchildren were her whole life. She loved nothing more than to sit and talk to each and every one of us about the updates in our lives, making you feel like the most important person in the world in that moment. And she always made sure we knew how proud she was of us. For that I will be forever thankful.

I loved the way she always had jujubes at the top of the fridge waiting for us. I loved the way she always remembered to call and sing “Happy Birthday” no matter how old we got. I loved her relationship with my grandfather, and the way they still looked at each other like teenagers deeply in love. I loved her warm smile, I loved her advice, I loved it all.

Our thing was always our birthdays. Gramma was born on June 10^th and I was the 13^th. She was my birthday buddy and there was always that one week in June that was dedicated to us. I’m not sure I’m ready for this first year without her; it will never be the same.

It’s damn near impossible to summarize Marilyn Richardson into a blog, especially when she deserves so much more. But this is what I can give. I miss her more than my words can express and I deeply regret not spending more time with her.

I love you Gramma.

I miss you.

And I’ll never forget you.

It’s Been a While…

Holy moly a lot has happened since I’ve fallen off the face of this blog.

My head has been spinning with all of the new developments (both good and bad). I’m not sure I know where to begin.

Well, I officially graduated college with honours (YAY!). That’s right you’re looking at a regular, bonafide adult. Holy fucking shit. It was a rough road but I somehow made it out of college relatively unscathed.

Adding to the adulthood is my new full-time job. I’m working at a tiny non-profit in Toronto called Colon Cancer Canada as the Executive Coordinator & Social Media. The title makes me sound more important than I actually am, but I’m making a salary now and I get benefits so I really can’t complain.

Of course with the good comes the bad…and no one saw this bad coming. Unfortunately, on October 15, 2014, I lost one of my favourite people in the world, my grandmother. She was sick for a while, but no one ever did figure out what was wrong. One minute she was going into rehab to get walking again, the next minute she had less than a week to live. Losing her was damn near impossible and I miss her everyday. She deserves her own blog though…I’ll talk about her another day when she can properly be remembered.

Naturally, this past Christmas was a difficult one, but it did come with some good news. As many people know, my biggest goal in life is to work in mental health and help teens and young adults understand their mental health. I can’t really do that with only a Public Relations degree though, so I started taking some new courses. Currently I take classes online through Northern College for the Child & Adolescent Mental Health certificate program. It’s a lot of work doing classes and working full time, but I’m in love with the program and incredibly excited for the future.

ALSO! I got a tattoo!! My parents hate everything about it, but I adore it. It’s a quote on my left shoulder that says ‘there’s no place like home’ with some poppies. Perfect for the OZ fan in me.

Still not dating anyone though…because I know that’s what most people seem to care about with me. Well…at least my mother does.

Not Quite the Classics

Colin Mochrie makes me proud to be Canadian.

I finished his book Not Quite the Classics over Canada Day weekend (seems fitting right?) and I fell in love with it.

You want to talk about comical genius? This guy is it. I’ve been watching Mochrie on Whose Line is it Anyway? for as long as I can remember. He pretty much has a direct line to my funny bone. Naturally I was INCREDIBLY jealous when my dad met him last year in Toronto and I didn’t. But, not the point.

I was stoked when I found out Mochrie had a book published, though a little skeptical at the same time. I know the famed comedian as just that, a comedian, not an author. But my undying love for him won out and shit, am I glad it did.

This is not a typical novel. It’s actually a series of short stories with a twist. Mochrie takes the first and last lines of famous classics such as The Great Gatsby, A Tale of Two Cities and Frankenstein and completely makes up the middle, turning them into stories that could clearly only come from his mind.

I laughed, I cried (from laughter), it became a part of me. Every story managed to illicit at least a chuckle from me…most of them got more. I never thought I’d read about the deep thoughts of Wile E. Coyote as he attempted to catch the Road Runner or read The Cat in the Hat as a tale about zombies. I can’t imagine what goes on in Mochrie’s head 24/7 but I’ve been lead to believe it’s pure comic gold.

This is the perfect book for comedy fans. So go read it…like right now.

Attachments

This review is about a month in the making.

Not that I have been thinking about it for that long, I’m just really behind on blogging as it would appear. As it turns out, planning a mass wedding in affiliation with WorldPride Toronto at work takes up a lot of your time…but I digress.

I’ve recently become a pretty big fan of Rainbow Rowell’s books, and after Eleanor & Park and Fangirl I knew I had to read Attachments. Though not nearly as good as the former two, I did enjoy it.

Set just before Y2K, a man is hired to scan his company’s email…and very quickly ends up falling for one of the women in the office, without actually having met her! While this guy’s intentions are totally innocent, I couldn’t help but see the stalker in all of this. There is something to be said for falling first for the mind, and then the physical, but it still felt very weird.

It was a cute read, don’t get me wrong. I totally routed for the characters…I just didn’t route for them to be together. I didn’t feel like they would really have any chemistry…it felt very forced. I guess I was just looking for something more.

That being said, it was a very well-written book and it definitely had its moments that left me laughing hysterically or smiling stupidly. Mostly it was just the couple that I couldn’t get on board with. Forgive me Rainbow Rowell, I still adore you!

Saying “No”

Normally, I’m a peace keeper.

I don’t get involved in other people’s shit, because really what’s the point? But last night, I’d had enough. Sometimes you simply can’t bite your tongue anymore.

Last night, I went out with my best friend to celebrate my 21st birthday. We decided to go to our usual watering hole and do our usual thing. Have a couple drinks, dance, and just have a good time. Unfortunately our watering hole now comes with a little baggage.

Allow me to explain. Back in December, my friend met this guy, let’s call him “A” for the purpose of this story. He seemed nice enough, she was into him, so they swapped numbers. The problem is my friend lives four hours away for school so they couldn’t really hang out unless she was in town for the weekend. This didn’t matter though, they still texted fairly frequently and got along.

So when my friend was back in town, she would usually ask me if it was OK to invite A out and we could all hang out, and it was fine…for awhile. Then a couple weeks ago, things were about to go the next level when my friend decided she was uncomfortable and no longer wanted to do it, so she left. He wasn’t mad though, and kept right on texting her.

The thing is, my friend no longer wanted him to text her, and made it very clear, but he kept doing it anyway. She could have hit him with a brick that said “I’m not interested,” and he’d still think she was into it.

So last night, this guy shows up at the bar and makes a beeline for my friend. I told her not to worry, if he tried anything, I’d talk to him because she was clearly panicky and uncomfortable that he was there. So when he tried to go after my friend, I stopped him and told him straight up to leave her alone. I told him she’s not interested, back off. Of course he looked at me like I was a cock-block and nothing more. And then a female friend of his jumps in (to something she literally knows NOTHING about) and starts yelling at me, saying he’s a good guy, he’s not a creep, stop freaking out. At that point I walked away, I was not about to get punched out by someone who was clearly looking for a fight.

Here’s what pisses me off about guys like that. They’re the ones who make women feel like we aren’t allowed to say no. They’re the ones who make us feel like we need to have some believable excuse prepared so that they’ll just walk away. It’s absolute crap, and frankly I’m over it. And the chick coming to his defence!?!?! Yeah, you’re not helping the situation at all, because now he has female back-up encouraging him that his actions don’t make him a bad guy. Great, thanks for that.

As her best friend, I’ve watched this go on for months and she has every right to be left alone if she so chooses. Fortunately things got sorted out. At the end of the night, they had a talk and the female friend actually apologized to me which actually surprised me a lot! She still defended him, but I can’t expect everything.

I know he’s not the biggest creep in the world or anything, it’s just one of those things where no should be taken for an answer…why is that so hard to understand?

$h!t My Brother Says

So it hasn’t been the best couple of weeks.

Hence my absence…but I am back and feeling a lot better! In fact, I’ve been feeling quite…inspired.

As I am a poor student, I’m still living with my parents. This also means I’m still living with my 17-year-old brother as well. My brother is a lot of things, but subtle, appropriate and boring are NOT words I would use to describe him. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tweeted about things he’s said.

This weekend, I reached a point where I decided to dedicate an entire Twitter account to his musings, instead of using my personal account. With that, I present to you Shit My Brother Says. Yeah I know, original title…but it gets to the point.

I encourage you all to follow @WordsFromHunter if you’re into reading the most random and hilarious tweets ever. Please keep in mind it’s fairly new so there aren’t a ton of tweets yet, but not to worry, I’ll never run out of content.

I appreciate any follows!

https://twitter.com/WordsFromHunter

I Won’t Give Up

This has not been a good weekend.

It should have been though. My boss let me off work two hours early on Friday and I managed to see my brothers off to prom. That night I went to the movies and saw The Fault in Our Stars (which was PERFECT for any fans of the book) and basically came home with a lazy weekend ahead of me.

I did not anticipate the crash that would happen Saturday morning.

A little background here…back in September my brother’s best friend was struggling at home, it had been going on for a while actually. He was kicked out for no reason, constantly getting yelled at, and because of it he was suffering in school. He always came to our house to spend the night if he was kicked out but in September enough was enough.

For whatever reason, he didn’t come to us when he got kicked out this time, and was essentially homeless for three days. No change of clothes, no food, nothing. When my parents learned of this they decided that Cam would come live with us. It was great, he fit right in, he really improved in school, things got a lot better…for a while.

In the new year some of his old habits came back, and eventually he started on a spiral downward. He was never a bad kid, he’s just been dealt a bad hand and therefore has made some bad choices.

Now, he’s nearly back to where he was when we took him in, and it’s breaking my heart. My parents don’t know how much longer they can keep him in the house, and that’s what I learned on Saturday. I don’t want him to leave, I don’t think it’s the right thing for him to leave, but my parents don’t know what else to do. They aren’t just kicking him out, they will make sure he has a solid place to go, but it’s just not enough to me. I love him like he’s my brother, hell, I even call him my brother.

This hurts so much, I wish I had a plan to stop it, but I don’t know what to do. I’ve spent the whole weekend lying in bed, desperately trying to think of something and slowly falling back into the depression I’ve fought so hard against. I haven’t had a conversation with my parents since they told me and right now I can’t even look at them. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive them for this, even though I love them dearly. It feels like they’re just giving up…I know they’re not but it still feels that way.

My heart is broken, my parents’ hearts are broken and Cam’s heart is broken. I don’t want to give up on him, he’s really a great kid. I’m begging anyone for help or answers at this point. I don’t want to lose my brother.

I Heart London

SPOILER ALERT!

Well…that’s all folks!

I’m finally finished the I heart series by Lindsay Kelk and I am seriously sad about it. While there is still I heart Christmas, I’m choosing to save that one for a more…well…Christmas-y time of year.

As usual, Kelk impresses me once more with this final chapter of Angela Clark’s journey. This time, she’s headed back to home turf for her mother’s birthday…only to be planning her very own wedding for the same day! What ensues is, of course, pure chaos, hilarity, and romance as Alex and Angela pave their way to matrimony.

I really enjoyed reading about Angela’s adventure back in England. It felt like the perfect way to wrap the series. Making her see how far she’s come, finally getting closure with her cheating ex, having her London and New York life collide…it was all perfect. And now it’s over…*sigh*

Luckily I shouldn’t have to wait until Christmas time to get my Kelk fix again. Her new novel What a Girl Wants (the sequel to About a Girl) comes out in June. I’m super excited about this one, I read About a Girl almost a year ago and have been dying for the next book! What can I say? I’m a tad obsessed. But I firmly believe that everyone should try and find an author, series, genre or anything they like to read. Fortunately, I just happen to have found plenty of those things.

So, here’s to you Kelk! You’ve given me a fantastic series!