Oscar Nom. #4: Dallas Buyers Club

SPOILER ALERT!

One word. AH-MA-ZING!

Matthew McConaughey is a homophobic, sickly, sex-crazed asshole in this film and I loved every second of it. I’m not going to lie, McConaughey isn’t one of my favourites, but he pulled out all of his acting chops for this one and it can only be described as perfection.

Now, for as good as McConaughey was, Jared Leto steals the show. I mean…there are hardly words for this performance. If Leto doesn’t win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor then he will be robbed! His portrayal of a cross-dresser with AIDS is so moving and so perfect it brought me to tears. I’m still having trouble adjusting to the fact that this is the same man who bulked up so much for his portrayal of Mark David Chapman in Chapter 27.

There are so many brilliant moments in this film, I don’t know that I can pick a favourite. Mostly what’s wonderful is seeing the change in McConaughey’s character. Watching him accept people for who they are, watching him fight for not just his life but hundreds of others. Watching him accept the fact that he really is dying…that was hard to watch. What was harder, however, was watching Leto’s character fall victim to AIDS and his drug addiction and eventually pass away.

There’s also a scene where Leto has to dress as a man to visit his father, who is clearly unhappy with his son’s choices. It was just so devastating to watch because you can see that, that is just not who he is. Yet, he clearly wants to be accepted by his father…it really breaks your heart. Leto gives so much raw emotion through this whole movie…I can’t compliment it enough.

I could go on and on about this movie and just continue to give it constant praise. It’s such an important story and a must watch regardless of the Oscar nomination. This film is a serious contender for the win. Just amazing.

Oscar Nom. #3: Gravity

Gravity…it left me…blank.

I really don’t know how to feel about this movie. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either. Truly I’m struggling to find the words to describe how I felt…well…mostly I just feel uninspired.

I wish I could say that something really stuck out for me in this one, but I just can’t. Don’t get me wrong, for a movie that is basically a one-woman show they really had a lot going on, but I still got bored. I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that space just isn’t my thing or I need more characters to stay interested but this film just wasn’t for me.

That being said, visually this film was brilliant. You really want to believe they filmed this in space because it was just so convincing. I felt myself get a little light-headed at parts through all the spinning and the floating. When a movie can give me a physical reaction, they’re doing something right.

I feel so bad! I want to be more excited about this one! I love Sandra Bullock and I definitely get why this movie is getting the praise that it is, it just doesn’t do it for me. Speaking in general though, this one, again, is not likely to be the big winner on Oscar night, but I can definitely see it getting huge honours on the effects side of things.

Still have mad love for Sandra Bullock though, that woman is a rock star.

Me in My Head

I have struggled my whole life with friendships.

Not in the sense that I can’t keep them, but more in a self-concious sort of way. I’ve always felt like the disposable friend, the replaceable friend. I’ve never admitted that to anyone and putting it out there is really hard for me. It’s a little embarrassing how much I struggle with this. I have this deep need to please people and to constantly be recognized for my friendship. I know it’s stupid, but I’m so insecure and sometimes I just need someone to tell me that I’m important to them.

Family and friends have always been the most important thing to me. Because of this, I struggle a lot when there’s a riff in any of my relationships. If it seems like someone’s mad at me I will stew about it for days. I’ll go over and over in my head what I could have possibly done to make them so upset with me. They may not even be mad at me, they could just be having a bad day. Unless I know that for sure it will deeply trouble me.

Honestly I think it goes back to my anxieties. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was 14 and it has really effected my thought process. I get anxious about friendships, school, drinking, partying, meeting new people, trying new things; truly the list goes on. Despite all of that, the friendships have arguably been my biggest issue.

I’m tired of constantly questioning my friendships. I’m especially tired of feeling left out or replaceable when deep down I know I’m not. I’ve been blessed with some amazing people in my life and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I don’t want my insecurities to stand in the way of my happiness anymore. I have enough things to worry about, my friendships certainly don’t need to be one of them.

I know I can drive people crazy and most of the time people just don’t understand why I am the way that I am. I guess I just want everyone to know that I’m trying. I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to be less insecure. I’m trying to realize that I am loved and valued, it’s just  a process. Eventually I’ll get out of my own head and back into the real world. I just need time.

Oscar Nom. #2: Captain Phillips

SPOILER ALERT!

You want to talk about suspenseful? Try watching this one.

I am a deep lover of Tom Hanks and this film totally proved why. The weight of this movie is largely set on his shoulders and did he ever do it justice. He delivered such raw emotion I was sobbing by the end of the film. Seriously, this man left me a basket case.

This isn’t the usual kind of film that I go for, and I was concerned that it would get boring after a while. How wrong I was. Yes, there is a brief period in the middle of the film where not a lot is happening, but every other moment in the movie makes up for that.

Near the end of the movie, when Phillips is incredibly close to being rescued, the pirates tie him up and there’s nothing but screaming and pleading and then suddenly…there’s silence. All you can hear is Hanks heavily breathing as he tries to understand what just happened, he doesn’t realize that the pirates are dead and he is safe. It’s a moment that could be easily passed over by anyone but to me, it stuck. It left you thinking. You feel relief for his safety but sadness for what Phillips will have to mentally deal with after. That moment brought so many things to light for me.

I don’t think this will be the Oscar winner, but the nomination is most definitely well-deserved. Everyone was brilliant in this film, but Hanks made it what it is…amazing.

Oscar Nom. #1: The Wolf of Wall Street

SPOILER ALERT!

I’ll never let go Leo…never let go of my dream of you getting an Oscar.

And after seeing The Wolf of Wall Street I’m more than convinced that he needs one. I’ve seen most of DiCaprio’s films and never has been more brilliant than in this role as the drug-crazed, con-artist Jordan Belfort. While What’s Eating Gilbert Grape will likely remain my favourite Leo performance, this is a close second.

I can only imagine the stamina it must have taken to make this movie. DiCaprio and his co-star Jonah Hill have nothing but energy throughout the entire course of this movie. There’s never a lull, something is always happening, and it’s always brilliant. Every scene, both actors bring their A-game and delve deep into their characters. However, if for no other reason, DiCaprio should win for one scene alone.

There is a scene closer to the end of the film where Hill and DiCaprio both take some old quaaludes. They’re so old that their effects don’t kick in until much later than usual, but our boys don’t realize this and just keep taking more and more. When they do kick in, Mr. Belfort is trying to get back to his home…there’s just one problem. He’s taken so many of these quaaludes that his body goes into a cerebral palsy type of a state.

This scene is completely brilliant. I can’t even begin to describe the acting skills that DiCaprio omits in this scene. His movements, his facial expressions, everything is so perfect you forget he’s acting. It brings me back to his performance in Gilbert Grape, a performance that was so convincing, it brought me to tears.

Am I a little bias? Yes. I love Leo and this is only the first Oscar nominated film I’ve seen, but I think it will take a lot to get this performance out of my mind.

And the Oscar Goes to…

In honour of the upcoming Oscars, I’ve taken on a personal challenge.

I have vowed to watch all the Oscar nominated films before the night of the Academy Awards. Yeah, it is definitely turning out to be harder than it sounds. Especially since I can barely find the time of day to get my homework done, let alone leisurely watch movies. Nevertheless…Challenge Accepted.

I won’t lie, a big driver for me watching all these flicks is because Leonardo DiCaprio is nominated this year and I feel it is about time that man won. That being said, I want to be able to say I saw all the nominated films so that I can cheer him on knowing full-well that he is the most deserving.

Yes I realize this all sounds obsessive, but I just can’t help it. I’ll never let go Leo.

Let’s Talk About Sex

So I’ve made a decision that’s a bit unorthodox.

I have recently made the choice to wait to have sex until I’m married. It was a big decision and not something I took lightly, but in the end I’m very happy with my decision to wait. A lot of people think it’s a bit of a “medieval” idea, and I’ve certainly heard plenty of people’s opinions about it. Though I know I owe no one an explanation, as this is MY choice and my choice alone, I want to explain why. Not to convert anyone or make people feel what I’m doing is the absolute best thing; I just want to give my reasons.

I should start off by saying that my reasons are not religious. I’ve never really had a strong stance on religion; it just isn’t for me, though I completely respect people who are religious. I should also state that I am not against pre-marital sex, it’s just something I’m not choosing to do. My decision is strictly personal. I have grown up with two loving parents. They are so in love, even to this day, and more than that, they are best friends. They did not wait until they were married. My whole life, all I’ve wanted was a relationship such as theirs, I want to marry my best friend. I believe that this way, I can do that.

For starters, it gives me the opportunity to love myself first. I need to be able to say that I am 100% happy with myself before I can let someone into that vulnerable side of me. A lot of people say “it’s just sex” but it means so much more to me than that. Also, I’m going to be able to find someone who wants to be with ME and doesn’t just want sex. If someone does not want to be with me because I’m waiting, then in the end, that person likely just wanted sex. This way you learn to be friends first and I learn who is really in it for love.

I think there is a bit of a stigma behind waiting. Many people believe that it’s religious (which in many cases it is) or that their parents encouraged them to wait and therefore they don’t think anything of it. Most people see it, especially in the modern world, as stupid. How can you expect to get married without having sex first? It doesn’t make sense. Sex is a vital part of a relationship; you’re setting yourself up for a failed marriage. I’ve heard it all, and I respectfully disagree. I understand where everyone is coming from, but I firmly believe that love will wait and that it will likely bring us closer.

Look, it’s not like my purity ring is burned into my finger, if I decide that I’m ready before marriage, then I’m ready. I don’t expect a lot of people to understand what I’m doing; I do ask that they respect it however. Giving your opinion when I don’t ask for it, basically telling me I’m never going to find anyone who agrees to wait with me, telling me how to live my life…that’s not respecting it. I’ve had all of this happen to me, and I expect it will continue, but I wish it wouldn’t. I do not question people on their life choices; please don’t question me on mine.