Bell Let’s Talk

“I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be” – Matchbox Twenty – Unwell

That song always spoke to me on such a deep level. I’ve never felt more unwell than when I was dealing with my mental illnesses.

I didn’t realize that depression and anxiety were things that I didn’t have to be ashamed of, mostly because the people I was surrounded by never made me feel safe in opening up about it. My first year of university saw a lot of tears and stress. I wouldn’t go out, I’d cry on the phone to my parents almost daily. I left my room to eat and to go to class, and eventually even those things weren’t good enough reasons anymore. I hated everything about my life. I hated my school, I hated the city I was living in, I hated the people I was surrounded by…nothing made me happy. Truthfully I don’t think I even knew I was depressed until Christmas break when I realized the thought of going back to school put me into a full-blown anxiety attack.

The thing that kept me going through those awful months was knowing that I had a full support system back home. My parents knew everything, and they were there through every late-night, distressed phone call to help me through it. Had I gone through my depression in silence I truly believe my life would be very different today.

I’m telling my story because it’s important for people to know that they are not the only ones who experience these feelings of depression or anxiety. I used to be terrified to tell people what was going on with me, but I’m not anymore. Had I not spoken up, nothing would have changed. I would have subsided further and further into myself until I couldn’t take it anymore.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are perfectly normal for feeling the things that you’re feeling. It gets so much better, but you have to tell someone. You have to be willing to ask for help. I promise you, if you do that, it will fill you with relief and comfort.

Allow someone to be there for you. Please, let’s talk.

#BellLetsTalk

Sleeping Arrangements

Dear Sophie Kinsella, I love you, but this book made me angry.

OK that might be pushing it a little. But I definitely had my frustrations with Sleeping Arrangements. By all accounts it was a fantastic read, but I just felt like the characters did not get the endings they deserved. Not to mention, I was horribly confused about which couple I should be routing for, I felt like I was going against popular opinion the entire time.

All in all this was the perfect guilty pleasure book. Sex, vacation, romance, and definitely some interesting plot twists. Unfortunately after all that, the ending just seemed to fall a little flat. All the characters seemed to be working up to something through the whole novel and then in the end they simply chose to go back to their normal lives. It was so unfitting for these characters that clearly needed a drastic life change.

Perhaps it’s just my own personal frustrations with the characters. I do tend to take these things rather personally. Don’t take this too much to heart if you’re looking to read this book. Honestly Kinsella delivered another great book, I’m truly a huge fan of hers, I just need to get over my issues with Hugh and Claire and all their drama. You should let them speak for yourself.

A Little Help for my Friend

It’s so great when you know you’ve helped someone.

I love knowing that people appreciate it when you are there for them, even if it’s something small. My best friend has a date tonight and she’s been freaking out about it for the last few days. A couple hours ago she texted me pretty frantic, so I did what any logical, good girlfriend would do. I told her to get her ass on Skype so that I could give her a proper pep talk.

Let me tell you, Skype comes in handy when you and your best friend live four hours away from each other.

The second she got on Skype I blanked on what to say to her. I mean really the girl has nothing to worry about. She’s smart, charismatic, gorgeous and hilarious…I truly envy her sometimes. But, of course telling her that she’s all these things isn’t helping, so what do I resort to? I begin to be the most obnoxious person ever! I throw out jokes, act all sassy while giving her advice, I’m pretty much doing anything I can to make her laugh. I figure the more she laughs at my stupidity, the less she’ll freak. I mean, it isn’t exactly new behaviour for us to be total weirdos when we talk to each other anyway so this is pretty easy.

This actually seemed to work really well. By the time she had to leave she was still pretty nervous, but I think it helped to talk to someone instead of sitting and stewing by herself for an hour. I truly didn’t think I had helped that much until she texted me thanking me. Even though it’s a small thing that any good friend would do, it felt good to know that she really did appreciate it.

I love that girl, she’s gonna be just fine. Now if only we could work on my love life…

The Single Girl’s To Do List

Can we just talk about how much I am in love with Lindsey Kelk?

She knows how to write the exact type of woman I want to be, while also making them totally relatable. I want to be them and yet I am them at the same time.

I completely fell in love with this book from the first page. I think I know why too. This book made me seriously question what I want out of life. I am incredibly like Rachel when it comes to wanting to settle down with a guy. I really do want a completely ordinary life…or I did. I did until they started making the “To Do List.” While I don’t necessarily feel that you absolutely HAVE to skydive to be properly single, I understood where the list was coming from. You can’t waste your life trying to make someone else happy and never think of yourself. It’s not healthy and frankly, it’s not fair. If there was one thing I realized with this book, it was to live my own life before going all in on a relationship.

Rachel, her apartment, her job, her friends, her list, her potential suitors, it was all completely perfect. I was squealing with delight and practically yelling all at the same time. Kelk understands each of her characters inside and out and makes sure they all have the ending they deserve. This would be a perfect summer read and one that will definitely fill your heart with joy. If you’re into a girl power romance, this one is most certainly for you.

Starting Over…and over…and over…and over…

OK, here’s the thing.

I seriously have struggled to keep up a blog since I was 14. I’m really great for about a month and then something comes up and I just forget the thing exists. Eventually I’ll feel guilty for abandoning my love of words and try again. New blog, new content, same story.

In my defence I am very busy most of the time, but probably not so busy that I can’t keep up a blog. So here I am again, making the same vow I do every time, that I will NOT abandon this blog. I just hope it sticks this time.

If I have it my way I will be able to bore you all with my general thoughts on books, cats, movies, One Direction, Leo DiCaprio, and anything else I can possibly think of.

So…here’s to a new beginning! …Again.